Some nights ago I was sitting on the roof of my parents apartment building down in Waikiki, on Mother’s day.  Dad was at the grill, grilling up the Chicken Satay skewers that I had prepared the day before and the vegetables that he prepared just before coming up to the roof (clearly I would have no part in preparing vegetables). I was sitting at the table, enjoying the sunset with mom, Grandpa and Carol.  Grandpa and I were talking about my upcoming travels, and he asked me why he had not seen any blogs of mine recently.

My grandfather doesn’t have a computer, so usually my father prints out any posts I write that he thinks my grandfather will particularly enjoy.  Clearly there have been none of those recently.  So he asked me if I’d be blogging on the road for the next two months.  I told him I wasn’t sure, but that I could promise five posts before I left. I only wrote one.  I have failed him so.  At his age, I’m sure he is used to broken promises (I know at only about a quarter of his years into my life I certainly am). That does not make it easier, so hopefully I can make it up to him somehow.

I’m pretty sure my grandfathers inquiry was intended to encourage me to write some posts so that he could look forward to reading some tales of my adventures.  I’m not sure the adventures I plan on getting into are the adventures that my grandfather would enjoy reading about though.  This excursion on the mainland isn’t so much about indulging my inner Odysseus, but more about reminding myself that there is a world out here.  That there are people out here. That despite my great efforts to remove myself from the bulk of this world, I still love much of it. That despite my great efforts to remove myself from much of the people in it, I still love many of them. That despite how logic-bound I am at times, how much of my life appears to be governed by to-do lists and calculated risks, despite how borg-inspired the title of this post is (yes I did catch the new Star Trek flick today), that I am in fact human after all.

I overheard a 23 year-young male talking on his cell-phone on the beach today.  When I say ‘overheard’ I don’t mean utilizing the eavesdropping skills I genetically inherited from my mother, I mean he was practically yelling so that his friend could hear him on the mainland.  His side of the conversation went something very similar to this:

…I mean, I’m 23, I think it’s time I figure it out.

I was watching the Entourage Season Premier, and I think I want to do what Ari does. I mean, I’m definitely qualified, he majored in Micro Economics, and I majored in International Business…they are practically the same thing.

It just seems a perfect fit for me.  He doesn’t really do much, he talks to people on both sides of a deal and then gets a ton of money from it.  A ton of money from talking.

What this guy didn’t know was that while he was speaking into his cell phone, my brain was responding to his every word.  With my responses supplemented in:

…I mean, I’m 23, I think it’s time I figure it out.

I don’t know what you have decided it is time to figure out, but this better be good.

I was watching the Entourage Season Premier, and I think I want to do what Ari does. I mean, I’m definitely qualified, he majored in Micro Economics, and I majored in International Business…they are practically the same thing.

Um, what?  It took you 23 years of your life to figure out that you want to have the job of a talent agent?  This was inspired by a character played by Jeremy Piven on a Home Box Office television show?  Not only is that absurd, but you know what this character majored in during his undergraduate studies, a fact that not even Wikipedia knows?  Also, I’m no economist, but isn’t Micro Economics very different from International Business?  Don’t Micro and International belong on separate ends of the spectrum? You clearly paid attention in 4 years of schooling.

It just seems a perfect fit for me.  He doesn’t really do much, he talks to people on both sides of a deal and then gets a ton of money from it.  A ton of money from talking.

This does sound like a great deal.  However, guy, your pay rate isn’t proportional to how loud you can talk on your cell phone.  Also he doesn’t do anything, because he is a character on a T.V. show.  A shitty T.V. show at that.  In fact, Tyler Durden (Not Always Work Safe) said it best in his review of the show and the terrible premier ratings it achieved this season:

A poll of experts who are me think it may because that show sucks.  It’s what nerds with no friends think cool people with friends act like.  You ever see a McDonalds commercials with black people?  Black people don’t act like that, but the white people who made the commercial think black people act like that.  Entourage is exactly like that, but 100 times longer and with fewer jokes.

I think it’s time to hit-up the drawing board and see what the next 23 years, or an episode of another shitty show cause you to epiphinate. My suggestion, catch a few episodes of Star Trek next.