I love chocolate, always have.  It doesn’t matter what color or kind, I’m not a chocolate racist, we can all coexist peacefully.  I like a good graham cracker every now and then too, but usually they are pretty dry in my mouth.  Nine times out of ten, I’ll pass on marshmallows (and I really don’t like Fluff, I don’t even trust the idea of Fluff).  However, when chocolate, graham cracker, and marshmallow all get together for a party on my plate and the heat gets turned up, it’s 1+1+1=5.

I’m talking about synergy in action folks, where the whole is greater then the sum of its parts.  I’m not sure who the first genius was to heat up some chocolate and a marshmallow and stick it between graham crackers, but I’m sure glad they did.  It’s hard to imagine, but there was a time in which chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers all existed but had never been combined.

One day, they had never been combined, the next, they had. The world has never been the same.  It makes you think of all the things that must have been combined and failed. Peanut butter, jelly and avocado.  Cheetos, peaches, and rye bread.  Potatoes, soy sauce, and cream cheese. K-Fed, Britney and Justin.

More importantly, it makes you wonder what will be combined next. If you have any unusual but savory combos, please do share.

Somebody’s been using a new shampoo! – Ethan Dulles

I’m going to Chicago this week, and I’m going to be staying at my friend Aimee’s.  Now that the airlines charge you for the weight of each individual fucking hair on your head, I figured I’d not bring any of my shampoo/soap/toothpaste that need to fit certain size restrictions and be in certain types of containers, to avoid the headache. I know, I know, just throw them in a Ziploc bag, it’s not hard.  Well I don’t know about you but the Ziploc ferry doesn’t make stops at the beach hut.  I don’t just have Ziploc bags of the right ounce requirement handy because I don’t need Ziploc bags.  The great thing about takeout is that it comes in containers that are perfect for leftovers, you don’t even need to have plates.

Obviously I could just get to Aimee’s place and use whatever is available, and she wouldn’t know that I’d been wheezing the juice (I’m a low maintenance kinda guy anyway). But for some reason I decided to ask.  Her response was “yes yes yes” which was to be expected, but then it was followed up with “you know that by now”.  I did know that, so why did I ask?

I didn’t ask because I actually cared what her response was.  If she for whatever reason had said no, I still wouldn’t have brought my own.  The response I got implied that I should have already assumed that I could in fact use her shampoo/soap/toothpaste.  No big deal, just a small deal.

What other kind of shit should I “know by now” and not need to ask?  What do my friends “know by now” and not have to ask me about before doing it? Close friendship is an exclusive VIP club with a long list of unpublished benefits and I think it’s about time someone started making a list.  One day I’m going to stumble upon one of my friends doing something that they thought they “knew by now” was okay to do.  I’ll ask them to take their pants and leave.