I’d bet that if I imbibed alcohol, scotch would be my pick of poison.  Alas, I am not (yet) a gambler, or (yet) consumer of alcohol. But everyone has a vice (as they should), and polar bears and I happen to share the same beverage of choice: Coca-Cola.  It’s not something I keep on hand around the house, because I can’t.  Not for lack of trying.  If there is coke to be found in the house, I will consume it. This makes keeping it around the house an impossible task (even for someone whose restraint is as finely-tuned as my own).

Recently however another fluid has been filling the hole in my heart, and it was least expected (is this how it always works?).  Many years ago, when I was a younger and more active version of my current self, I used to try drinking Gatorade and Powerade but they would usually result in headaches.  Too sweet, too many electrolytes, who knows?  I swore them off for a decade.  Flash-forward to several months ago. I found myself half-way up a mountain and out of water, so I was left with no other option but to hydrate with the Gatorade that Aimee had brought with her.  This was my first mistake.  Like Jesus and his AA, Gatorade is designed to prey on the weak.  Not only is it intended to hydrate you when you are in dire straights, but it is designed to do it so well that it replaces your urge to drink the fundamental element of life: water.

Several months later, and I am sitting here with neon yellow fluid surging through my body.  In a glass, on the rocks, with a splash. I get lost somewhere between the Lemon and Lime. And it feels so good.

Something vicious came over me and I got hungry at lunch time for a feast that no king has ever even known the likes of.  Since I live with me, my fridge has less food then one of those ‘adopt a child from (Insert Destitute African/Asian Country Name Here)’ commercials, so I had to go out for lunch.  I decided it was in my best interest to hit up the International Marketplace which is a few blocks walk from here.  The reason for this decision was three-fold:

1. It’s an outdoor environment, and why live in paradise if you aren’t going to take advantage of the paradise parts at every chance you get?
2. It is a short walk, so if all goes well and after the feast I lose functionality of my legs, it is within crawling distance to the hut.
3. As the name implies the International Marketplace can sell me the entire world to eat, which is fantastic, considering that today my stomach decided that it’s appetite rivaled Galactus’.

Needless to say, this was the best decision I have made in a long time.  Enough happened in my 6 block walk (each way) to fill a 30 page short story.  No one reads books anymore though, so instead I will break up today’s events into several posts which will hopefully continues in a long series of posts inspired by my trips to the Marketplace (I have decided that I will go once a week).

Now that you have some background, let’s get to the good stuff.  I decided to eat Korea today.  All of it, North, South and the DMZ.  It was delicious in a way that only a meal topped off with a large cup of Coca-Cola can be.  I decided to keep the cup of ice for the walk home, and upon sitting down to write this post I noticed that the cup I had been exchanging fluids (and solids) with for the last twenty minutes held wisdom of legendary proportions:

"Expect the Unexpected" - Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, University of Alabama

As you can see this photograph was taken outside the hut, with the cup sitting on my banister.  Coincidentally JUST as I was snapping this photograph, a pretty woman was walking by.  There I was, on one knee, taking a picture of a cup on my banister.  She made a face as if to say “I know you are taking a picture of me, what kind of idiot do you think I must be to believe you are actually taking a picture of a wax-coated paper cup on your banister?”.  I began to feel guilty.  It’s already pretty shitty to be an attractive female walking down the block alone when people (men) cat-call and make comments, but to have them treat you like your some kind of celebrity and be snapping photos of you?

So I hope you read this.  Anyway back to the cup.  If you can’t see in the photograph and didn’t read the caption, the bottom of the cup (on one side) reads:

“Expect the Unexpected”

Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant

University of Alabama

First of all, what?  Second of all, maybe Paul Bryant owns the Yummy chain?  Nope, this Peter Kim guy does. Third of all, maybe the University of Alabama’s sports team shares a mascot with the Yummy chain?  Nope, they are the Crimson Tide. So maybe this coach is just a really profound speaker who came up with a really well known and widely used quote.

Naturally I googled the expression “Expect the unexpected” and this coach’s name was nowhere to be found.  I did find a few people who seemed to think that the host of the big brother show was the originator, which is one of many reasons I love America, but not this coach.  Turns out the furthest back I could find it attributed to anyone was Heraclitus.  He was around a few years before American Football was invented, so I think it’s safe to say that the attribution of the phrase would be better off belonging to him then Paul Bryant (or better yet anyone with two names, cause those old Greek guys only ever had one and they pretty much said everything ever).

It turns out that on the other side of the cup is another quote attributed to Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, and this article over at the Star Bulletin’s website informs us that Peter Kim was in fact a kicker for the University of Alabama back in his hay.  His coach was none other then Paul “Bear” Bryant.  Now if the mascot for Yummy is actually a ‘Bear in Tiger skin’, I’ll let you decide.