March 17th, 2009
2 Open Letters
To the Significant Others of my Female Friends
Where do I begin? This could be one of those very long posts where I explain to you how much you are undeserving of my friend as a lover, or how every other time I talk to your girlfriend I have to end the conversation an hour or two early because I’m so sick of hearing her complain about you. Yeah, that’s right, you. You are inadequate. You are the Plan B that is only the Plan B until the Plan A comes along. If Plan A never comes along, then you pretty much won the fucking lottery.
Here’s where you need to listen carefully. I could be Plan A. The only reason you have the girlfriend you do, is because I didn’t want to be Plan A. It should make sense to you, but since you are a Plan B, I’m going to use words that I know will make sense to you. These are words borrowed from a twelve year old who resided in downtown Ithaca, NY.
YO! Your girl could be mine, ya heard?
That being said, she isn’t. She has ‘chosen’ you, and she has ‘chosen’ to remain friends with me. This means that no matter how wonderful you think you are, no matter how wonderful you are told you are, and no matter how wonderful you actually are, I still offer her something. This is why we remain friends, and why I remain friends with many single/committed women. If you have gotten over that, then you and me are already friends (and that is something I am happy about). If she doesn’t think you can get over it, then you and me have never met (and we never will). Don’t get mad at me if we’ve never met, it speaks to her confidence in you, your insecurities, and your ability to grow. Yup I said it, ya heard?
To the Significant Others of my Male Friends
I know you are a keeper because you’re with one of my friends (I choose them wisely). Take your boyfriends phone and call me. I can usually be found under ‘Simon’ or ‘My Idol’. See above, I’m a Plan A.
Tags: Boyfriends, Get Seduced, Girlfriends, Ithaca, New York, Plan A, Plan B, The Faint
March 19th, 2009 at 3:51 am
I’d let my friends date you, so you MUST be a Plan A.
Then again you wouldn’t date my friends because we are olds and you are one of the youngs.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Sometimes plan As aren’t all that great in the end. Sometimes plan Z looks the least appealing but ends up offering the most reward, adventure, challenge, romance… sometimes our perspectives change over time and what used to look like plan A looks different later on. I just don’t think you can alphabetize this, and perhaps I’m taking your analogy too literal. But I try to view options as different colors, different pictures and images, different story lines. One isn’t better or worse, but they change your life radically. When it comes down to choice, if you go with green, for instance, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little pink or violet in your life. Flirting with blue but never truly owning it can be romantic as well. And sometimes settling for romance is good enough for the moment.
March 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
sometimes there was never a plan to begin with and you just sans your pants and have fun! just me?…oh well then.