Today while I was clicking around Facebook (hunting mice most likely) I stumbled across a page that had this ad displayed:

Double Your Dating

At first glance I was pretty psyched, because this David DeAngelo guy was going to “get (me) a girlfriend now.” I don’t even know you buddy and already you’re hooking a brother up!  My eyes then naturally fell to the red and white image of the book/course which read “DOUBLE YOUR DATING.”  Wait a minute David, I don’t think the girlfriend you just got me (immediately) would want me going on ANY dates, not to mention twice the amount I normally do.

Actually David, I have a confession.  By my young age, dashing good looks and deeper-than-the-ocean pockets, you may assume I’ve been on quite a few dates.  Offering to double my dates then, would be quite a tall order.  So for those of you not so strong in the maths, allow me to crunch the numbers for you.

Dates (In Last Calendar Year): 0

Multiplying Factor : x 2

0 x 2 = 0 Total Dates

Wait a minute, you are going to get me zero dates dude? Good thing you got me that girlfriend just a minute ago.

My eyes then fell ever so slightly to the description of the service that this ad-buyer provides.  “Age, looks and money don’t matter.” Phew, now you just need to convince the other 6 billion people on the planet.  “Knowing how to create attraction is the key.” I think you threw out that key of knowledge when you gave up on age, looks, and money buddy. “I teach you how to do that instantly.” Wow, first a girlfriend instantly, then teaching me how to attract other mates instantly, you sir are a pro.  “7 day free trial.” Who needs days 2 through 7 when you’ve taught me all you know in an instant, am I right?!?

At first my “THIS IS A SCAM” alarm went off, but then I remembered that I saw it on the Internet, and the law of Internets reminds us that if you read it on the Internet, it is definitely true and definitely not a scam. Thank god for the tubes in blue.

Tags: Dating, Facebook, Girlfriend, Girls, Hoes, Maths, NSYNC, Science

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 21st, 2008 at 8:29 pm and is filed under Shit List. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.